Highs and Lows

My emotions are still all over the place. Yesterday I felt extremely grateful for my life and everything in it. I spent the day living in the 'now' and soaking up every moment. We had some special friends over for a bbq and it was an extremely sunny and beautiful day.

Today, I had a goal of finishing module 5 of my wedding planning diploma course work. Unfortunately there is a problem with our browser at home and so I couldn't download the course work. This left me very frustrated! So I went for a long walk and then did some sketching, and a couple of meditation sessions which made me feel better. But the frustration is still lingering - and its tinged with anger too. I don't know why. It's kind of a limbo feeling. Like I'm waiting for something to happen. Maybe it's because I know we are going for IVF in a couple of months and it's kind of 'looming' over me.

I've decided that the only way to get me through these lows is to keep doing the things I love - long walks, cooking, gardening, spending time with friends, sketching, reading and spending time with my DH.

I am also looking forward to acupuncture tomorrow with AW - my new acupuncturist. This is helping that feeling of limbo - the thought that I am doing one more constructive thing towards achieving my goal of perfect balance and creating the perfect environment for us to be able to conceive. Something within my control. Something that might just make a difference for us.

In the meantime, here's to living in the 'now' and doing the things I love!