Transfers and snow babies

We had our transfer on Monday. It all went very well and the staff were just wonderful!

We did get a little picture of it, but my hubby only wants to share this with immediate family, so I have to respect his wishes, though I would have loved to share it with you all. When I saw the picture, I totally welled up. To know that this tiny being is completely ours, with our genes, was just overwhelming.

The doctor seemed a bit surprised at how long my cervix was, but it all went just fine. It was a bit sore when the speculum went in, but that soon went away and I once again, did my yoga breathing which helped. The medical team were really lovely and calming. It was all done in 10 mins.

I just received the news today that, although we had another 4 really good emby's on Monday looking like they would be freezable, they were only able to freeze 2. I was doing really well today - really calm about everything and less 'obsessed' about this little being inside me than I was yesterday (and worrying that every germ or bump would somehow harm it!) but this news made me feel so sad. I guess it is normal to grieve the emby's that don't make it.

However, the nurse said that 70% of couples don't end up with any to freeze, so I know that we are very lucky. And I know those two were good ones as they would have made it to 5,5/6 days.

Then my lovely accupuncturist texted me out of the blue to say she was thinking of me - almost as though she knew I was sad at that exact moment. I told her that I was feeling sad and overwhelmed with fear that this one inside me wouldn't make it either. I felt overhwhelmed that maybe this has been our problem all along? That I have a good number of eggs but the quality isn't great? To have 8 of 9 eggs fertilize was amazing, but to only get 3 out of 8 viable is quite low. She quickly texted back and reminded me about the two snakes I saw in Nov and Dec!! My lucky two snakes. My good omens telling me that two important people were going to come into my life soon!

How could I have forgotten about these?

Maybe my two little snow babies are represented by the two snakes?!

Anyway, I'm hanging in there. This two week wait is the hardest thing I've ever been through, I must say. The IVF process until here is quite easy in comparison!

Well, signing off now and wanted to say, thank you sooo much for all your support and messages. I've noticed that many of you are also struggling to comment on each other's posts, just like me! Please know that I am reading all your blogs and, as always, enjoying following your stories and cheering you on in spirit.

Let the distractions begin!

I woke up at 4am this morning with my mind racing.... racing about our embryo transfer tomorrow morning, racing about how I'm going to get through work this week and be normal, racing about how to keep calm and stop my boss from stressing me out when I am so emotional this week. Luckily I have taken tomorrow as a leave day so I don't have to set foot in the office.

And thankfully I managed to get back to sleep!

It is a beautiful sunny day here and I have distracted myself today with a long walk at the Lakes, cooking lunch and working on my latest wedding planning diploma projects. It seems to be working, thank goodness.

So I thought, in the spirit of distractions, I would share two of my projects with you - these are two wedding style boards I created late last year for two of my wedding planning diploma assignments.

1) A Marie Antoinette inspired wedding in the Yarra Valley:

2) A rustic 'breakfast at Tiffany's' wedding in Country Victoria:

So yes - I've been keeping busy.

But every now and then, my heart stops again and I remember that transfer is tomorrow.

Tomorrow, one of our tiny and already beloved embryos will be placed inside me. How will I feel knowing it is inside me - this combination of my genes and the genes of the man that I love and have loved for 10 years? How on earth will I contain my emotion?

How on earth will I get through the next two weeks?

Dear Lord, thank you for giving us a perfect IVF cycle so far. Please, please, please can you help make this little baby stick. All love and loyalty forever, BW

Egg collection

Thank you to everyone for your lovely comments and support over the last few days. I've been reading all your posts and commenting where I can, but irritatingly, my computer is not letting me comment on all posts :-(

My IVF update for today is......

Exceeding all possible expectations, the following has happened in the last 24 hours:

- The nurses, doctors and embryologist were absolutely wonderful yesterday

- I got totally high pre and post procedure on the lovely cocktail of anesthetics!

- The procedure was really successful

- I woke up and felt wonderful and a bit high which was lovely and told all the nurses I wanted to give up my corporate job and become an IVF nurse - ha ha!

- I had a conversation with my doctor post op, that I don't remember at all :-) Though she told my hub that I was very talkative

- I've had hardly any pain

- No bleeding

- No OHSS

.... and.... I woke up in hospital with the number '9' written on my hand. 9 beautiful little eggs were retrieved.

All of our family (mom's, dad's, brothers and sisters) prayed for us and thought of us overnight and we had the call from the nurse today:

8 of our 9 eggs have fertilized!

I was so shocked that I almost fell out of bed and immediately burst into tears of joy.

If all goes well, transfer will be Monday.

I don't know what more to say except that I am floating on a cloud of joy right now......

It's all happening

Firstly, thanks so everyone who wrote on my last post. Your support and encouragement is so appreciated. Also, to everyone who is cycling with me this month, all my fingers and toes are crossed for you and I am here to support you through it all.

So back to my post - Great news re: our 2nd ultrasound!

Our 6 follicles were all between 18 and 19mm yesterday and there was also 7th which was at 13mm!!! The nurses kept saying 'well done' and how well I am responding to the protocol and were giving us lots of encouragement which was lovely. B has really done an excellent job giving me all my meds in a calm and timely manner. My tummy looks like that of a voodoo doll from all the needle pricks, but it is healing quickly! To those of you who haven't started your injections yet, just letting you know that for me, they didn't really hurt at all. Only a small prick/pinch as the needle goes in and sometimes a bit of burning as the liquid goes in, but really not bad. B injected me and each time, I lay down, and looked up at the ceiling doing my yoga breathing, as I don't like to see the needle go in. I do the same when I have my blood taken.

While on the subject of the injections, we went to watch the cricket at the Melbourne Cricket Ground on Sat night. We had to do our Gonal F injection at 9pm. We walked into the first aid room at the MCG, and B asked the officer "do you mind if we use one of the cubicles so that I can inject my wife please?". The look on their faces was priceless! Needless to say, they gave us our own cubicle with the curtain drawn and didn't ask any questions. 5 minutes later, we were back in our seats watching Shane Warne bowl a wicket! It was hysterical.


We are now ready for egg collection which is just such fantastic news. The little follies were very active over the weekend and grew about 4 - 5mm each. This would explain why I was so tired - I just wanted to sleep all the time. The nurses said it's because of the hormones and also how hard my body was working to increase their size.

B gave my my HCG trigger injection last night at 8pm (which will ensure the final maturation of the eggs during this 38 hour period).

For the surgery, I will need to fast from midnight tonight in preparation for the anaesthetic. The procedure is at 10am tomorrow morning. B will go in with me and will also give his sample at 10am. We have abstained since Sunday. I still can't believe it -It all feels so surreal.

We will find out how many eggs fertilized on Thursday. Please keep all your fingers and toes crossed for us :-)

I have taken tomorrow off work and will likely work from home on Thursday.

Our embryo transfer will then hopefully be on Monday 16 Jan.

I will also have an acupuncture session post my surgery tomorrow and again on Monday - both before and after the transfer.

Above all, we have to be realistic, as even if it all goes very well, the little emby might not stick, or it might miscarry before 12 weeks. But we think it is important to still be positive. The live birth rate with our clinic, for our age group, is 35%, and 45% of pregnancies make it to at least 6 weeks.

We are just being thankful at each stage, for every little thing that does go well. Counting our little miracles as they happen and trying to focus on one day at a time!