Transfers and snow babies

We had our transfer on Monday. It all went very well and the staff were just wonderful!

We did get a little picture of it, but my hubby only wants to share this with immediate family, so I have to respect his wishes, though I would have loved to share it with you all. When I saw the picture, I totally welled up. To know that this tiny being is completely ours, with our genes, was just overwhelming.

The doctor seemed a bit surprised at how long my cervix was, but it all went just fine. It was a bit sore when the speculum went in, but that soon went away and I once again, did my yoga breathing which helped. The medical team were really lovely and calming. It was all done in 10 mins.

I just received the news today that, although we had another 4 really good emby's on Monday looking like they would be freezable, they were only able to freeze 2. I was doing really well today - really calm about everything and less 'obsessed' about this little being inside me than I was yesterday (and worrying that every germ or bump would somehow harm it!) but this news made me feel so sad. I guess it is normal to grieve the emby's that don't make it.

However, the nurse said that 70% of couples don't end up with any to freeze, so I know that we are very lucky. And I know those two were good ones as they would have made it to 5,5/6 days.

Then my lovely accupuncturist texted me out of the blue to say she was thinking of me - almost as though she knew I was sad at that exact moment. I told her that I was feeling sad and overwhelmed with fear that this one inside me wouldn't make it either. I felt overhwhelmed that maybe this has been our problem all along? That I have a good number of eggs but the quality isn't great? To have 8 of 9 eggs fertilize was amazing, but to only get 3 out of 8 viable is quite low. She quickly texted back and reminded me about the two snakes I saw in Nov and Dec!! My lucky two snakes. My good omens telling me that two important people were going to come into my life soon!

How could I have forgotten about these?

Maybe my two little snow babies are represented by the two snakes?!

Anyway, I'm hanging in there. This two week wait is the hardest thing I've ever been through, I must say. The IVF process until here is quite easy in comparison!

Well, signing off now and wanted to say, thank you sooo much for all your support and messages. I've noticed that many of you are also struggling to comment on each other's posts, just like me! Please know that I am reading all your blogs and, as always, enjoying following your stories and cheering you on in spirit.