IVF 1 - a new beginning

Hi everyone.

Happy happy New Year! It feels like it's been ages and ages since I last wrote.

We arrived back from our holiday on Monday and I've managed to read all of your blog posts over this last week (which I've so enjoyed), but have been unable to comment as I've been so busy catching up on work and a mountain of laundry! I promise I will be back into the swing of things soon.

Thanks so much to Izzy for thinking about me and for wondering how I am, and to all of you who left lovely comments on my wedding anniversary post! Also, thanks to Heather for the special mention of my anniversary on your December post. Happy anniversary to you, Heather, and congratulations on your latest scan and finding out you are expecting a little boy :-)

DH (I'm going to call him B from now on) and I are just fine. We had the most amazing holiday which was very much needed. There were times on holiday were I felt so relaxed, that I almost felt guilty about it! But then I would quickly whip away those thoughts, knowing that IVF was coming and I needed to simply revel in relaxation and bliss as much as possible.

Our camping holiday up the Sapphire coast was everything we had hoped it would be - we spent a lot of time simply relaxing in the hammock, reading, having afternoon naps, sitting around the campfire, eating great food and spending quality time with our friends. But we were also really active - lots of beach and forest walks, snorkeling, skiing, swimming, body surfing, cycling and kayaking. It was fabulous!

We kept our gonal F in our friend's camper van fridge as planned and it worked out just fine.

After yet another perfect cycle in December - 29 days on the dot with a clockwork day 14 ovulation (I even felt my left ovary release the egg) and timing the baby dance just perfectly, I had so hoped for a miracle conception. But alas. AF started on 30 December. After crying a few tears and lots of hugs from friends and B, I got over it and started to think about the upcoming cycle and our injections.

On new year's eve, B and I stole away to our tent at 9pm and illuminated by the light of our head torches, he injected our first Gonal F shot. It was just fine. The needles are so tiny I can hardly feel them in my tummy and he is a most brilliant (and sexy!) male nurse!

Within 3 days of the daily Gonal F injections, I had very few side effects besides slightly tender ovaries (especially on my left) and a bit of bloating. The dreaded nausea, dizzyness, mood swings etc have not materialized and I've gone back to work as normal. I am on the lowest possible dosage (150) which our doctor has put me on due to an increased risk of OHSS (my left ovary showed up 20 follicles on my November ultrasound making it polcystic and there is a risk of too many follicles all growing at the same time).

On day 6 of my cycle (Weds) we started our second injection to suppress ovulation and have continued with 2 injections a day since then (one at 7.30am and one at 9pm).

Yesterday was our first ultrasound and blood test at the hospital. I am excited to say that I have 6 good sized follicles growing nice and evenly - 1 at 13mm and 5 at 12mm. The nurses are all pleased with my progress! I don't believe that 6 is very many compared to other people, but I believe that this is because I am on low stims due to my risk of OHSS. Still, 6 little follicles growing nice and evenly is just great! I did have a concern that my body would not respond at all. I would also much rather be on low stims than risk a cancelled cycle due to OHSS. Here is an interesting article about this - it's about low stimulation agonist/antagonist cycles with particular reference to diminished ovarian reserve.

We have another ultrasound and blood test scheduled this coming Monday where they will check our progress. Each follicle will likely grow around 1mm per day and they have to be at around 17mm before egg collection can take place. Therefore, we are estimating our egg collection will be on Weds/Thurs this week.

I have been trying not to get excited, but simply can't help it! However, rather than my usual extremes of severe worry or manic excitement, I have been blessed with an eerie sense of calm. As much as I am being very positive about it all, B and I are still keeping our expectations realistic: we may not get an egg from every follicle; those eggs that are retrieved may not all fertilize; I may suffer from OHSS yet. But as much as these things can all happen, we are just taking each day one at a time and praying for small miracles and milestones along the way.

So far everything is going to plan and we are very thankful for that.

I will be quite thankful for any amount of little emby's we get!

I've realised over the last 3 years that there is so little about this journey we can control. Though IVF is very controlled and scientific, there is still a chance that anything could happen. I think our calmness stems from a real acceptance of this fact.

Our doctor has chosen ICSI for us - where they will physically inject B's sperm into my eggs. I think our doctor believes that there may be an issue with the enzymes on the end of B's little boys, being unable to break through the walls of my eggs. We are very pleased about this as it will give us the best possible chance of successful fertilization, and will rule this out completely if it is an issue.

So yes, that concludes my update!

As I said in December, I am hoping and praying for lots of sticky baby dust for all of us in 2012!

Lots of love

B

ps: On our first day of holidays my bestie and I went for a long beach walk. On our way back home, climbing up and over the dune, a 1.5m long black snake slithered quickly across our path about 1 - 2m in front of my feet! I almost died of heart failure (again!). However, we could quickly see the snake was terrified of us and he hurriedly slithered away into the dunes whilst we just stood dead still and tried to swallow our wildly beating hearts! So yes, another good omen. 2 deadly snakes in 2 months.... could this mean that 2 very important people are going to come into my life!? Ha ha!