I don't normally rant but, boy oh boy,
today is the day!
I talked to my (female) boss today about taking a personal leave (sick) day or two for the embryo transfer and perhaps the day after too, so that I can rest and give it a good chance to work this time (I also suggested 1 sick day and 1 work from home day as an option). I now have 3 personal (sick) leave days accrued as I've not taken anything since our last IVF surgery in Jan.
To give you some background my boss is a 40 year old single woman workaholic with very little life outside work who's favourite thing is to 'take work home for bed-time reading' and who has extremely high expectations of me and my team of 5 ladies who work for her as account managers.
To my request for personal leave she said 'that's fine but I just have to be mindful that the company is being quite lenient and that an embryo transfer would not necessarily class as sick/personal leave'
Can you believe the audacity?!
I then said in an even voice 'well on every occasion the hospital and ivf specialist have offered to write me a sick note and I just haven't asked for one before, as I didn't think it would be required - but I'd be happy to get one this time?'
That shut her up pretty quickly.
Does she think that I f-ing WANT this shit in my life?!!!!!! Like I am taking personal/sick leave because I feel like it or because I want to 'bunk off' work?! Does she realise that I did not CHOOSE to have these issues with conceiving a child. That I have not chosen to be an infertility statistic!?
If only she knew how hard this all was!?
Does she even realise how important it is that I rest after the transfer as much as possible!? It's like she has no clue about any of this even though I've told her rest is so important and that this is costing us $1000s and that we don't get many shots at it so we have to make every appointment, every test, every transfer count.
She makes my fracking blood boil!
I kind of wish I'd never told her about the IVF or anything in the first place - That I'd never had the respect to be honest with her. That way, she wouldn't think that she has the right to personally decide what constitutes a sick day or not!
Yes. I don't have many personal leave days available - it doesn't take much when you are going through infertility to use 10 days annual personal leave up (a full laparoscopy, suspected early miscarriage, full IVF drug cycle with egg collection and a heavy bout of flu plus the odd tummy bug in between) and that's 10 days gone. I was even told by the nurse to take a full week's leave for the lap last April but didn't, and only took 3 days in the end.
If I end up going into annual/unpaid leave in the next 6 months because I end up having a miscarriage or require another egg collection surgery then so be it! That's my business anyway.
I work damned hard for my company and do a great job. The least she could do is take the time to think (or do some research) before she decides that an embryo transfer doesn't class as a personal leave day!
Rant over!!!!!
Ps: I'd love to find out how everyone else copes with juggling time of work for ART treatments and/or horrid, bitchy bosses!?
Oh jesus. You shouldn't even have to tell her why you are taking the days. Personal leave is personal.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you have to deal with this. It's just crap. I guess in life you just have to grin and bear it. I am glad you spoke up though. She needs to know that she has no say over how you choose to use your personal time.
I am lucky in that my bosses understand. I only recently told them, along with one coworker. I needed them to know that I would be taking time out here and there for medical reasons. They've been pretty great about it. I still don't tell them every time I have an appointment revolving around IF.
on a side note: I noticed you mostly comment on my personal blog Long Time Coming. In case you want to read my IF blog, here is the link:
http://missconception-ads.blogspot.com/
All the best!
Exactly like Alissa said, its personal leave and none of her business.
ReplyDeleteI read this last night and I was so pissed on your behalf!
ReplyDeleteI was very fortunate that I was upfront with my boss and they were very supportive. the one time I didn't tell them was the only time we had issues because I was taking time off and they didn't know why.
Your boss has no right to say that it doesn't fall under personal leave. Tell her to have a chat with Fair Work Australia. As long as you have personal leave accrued this is a recognised medical event. They can't discriminate on the basis of you needing time off. Further, personal leave is very broad it isn't just for the common cold.
Look up Fair Work Australia website and check out the section on personal leave.
Quite frankly she is on dangerous ground if she wants to get picky with it.
Sometimes the old shrivelled up prune bosses that are bitter and angry are the worst kind (my old CFO was like that NIGHTMARE)but I do think being open makes it a lot easier in the long run.
I am happy to come and kick some arse if you want :)
I am so sorry she gave you a hard time. My boss was pretty decent even though in the end I didn't really need it. Miracles do happen.
ReplyDeleteTake your time you need it girl!!
So pissed for you! It's none of her business and she can not tell you no. Bull! Grrrr!
ReplyDeleteOh girl! I am so sorry that you had to deal with this on top of the stress that is IF. I personally haven't had that experience but I still feel guilty sometimes taking off work because I take my job seriously, as you obviously do too!
ReplyDeleteGood for you for standing up for yourself and hopefully you put her in her place! Like any of us would choose to be in this position!? So sorry. xoxo
I hope you take Chon's advice and can stick it to her. What a B.
ReplyDelete