I've been offline for a while because I've been 'living' a little after the intensity and subsequent failure of our first IVF cycle.
For the first time in ages, I've felt like the old me, where getting pregnant wasn't a priority and the dark shadows of infertility hadn't yet come to haunt us.
I've been drinking some wine, enjoying the beautiful Australian summer weather, sunbathing at the beach and in our garden, exercising lots and eating whatever I want to! Bliss.
I just wanted to say a big congrats to all the ladies who've had Big Fat Positives in the last 2 weeks. I'm stoked for you all - may those little ones of yours nestle in and get comfy!
Yesterday B and I became the proud Aunt and Uncle of our newest nephew. He is so beautiful.
When I saw the pics this morning I cried unashamedly. I have been very emotional about it all for reasons I am sure you all well know, but mostly because we are so far away (in another country) and can't give him a cuddle.
For a little while last night, that happy carefree feeling left me to be replaced by an all consuming dread that having a baby of our own is an unobtainable dream for us.
Thank heavens for B who was so patient and hugged me tight to console me. Today he sent me a beautiful valentines card asking me to stay positive and never stop dreaming big dreams. He thanked me for our 10 amazing years together and assured me that our life will continue to unfold in the wonderful way it has so far.
God love that man - he has the patience of a saint!
The results of my latest blood tests aren't out yet - the lab accidentally centrifuged one of the 8 vials they took - the one that looks at my chromosomes. So I had to go in today and re-do it. I've asked them to expedite it so I should be able to get the results back next week hopefully.
My mom, who has been helping me with researching the auto immune link, has recommended that I take a higher dose of evening primrose oil daily. She said the following:
"Evening primrose oil contains much gammalinolenic acid which bypasses an enzyme we have very little of after puberty, and so limits the production of the prostaglandins etc. that our bodies can make from plants that we eat. Also our life style toxins like alcohol etc. hammer the enzyme (what little is left of it) which makes it worse. This is something you could easily supplement at the highest dose you can afford and it may well help balance out your immune system"
God love my mom too!
I will end off today with this pic - tell me honestly, who needs a baby when you have this!????
Only Kidding.
Of course we want a baby of our own, but for now, Zuri is our very willing substitute! Here she is, asleep in B's arms.
This pic melts my heart every time I look at it.
Hope you have a lovely week everyone :-)
That's such a cute pic! Is Zuri a Burmese? Our little Burmese girl loves to be held like that whenever we put the kettle on she comes for her 'coffee cuddles'. I know what you mean though, it's not quite the same as a real baby of your own. Your hubby sounds amazing! "Never stop dreaming big dreams" is the perfect thing to say!!
ReplyDeleteGlad you are doing well and enjoying yourself! I just have to say that me and my husband do the EXACT SAME THING with our kitty. We are always holding her like a baby, and she loves it. Of course it's not the same, but having a sweet cat to cuddle sure helps. :)
ReplyDeleteAah what a gorgeous cat! I have two dogs who are like my children. Except they are too big to be held like that. I can still give them hugs and rubs!
ReplyDeleteHappy Valentine's to you too!
How sweet! I do need to get a kitty. I'll look into the evening primrose soon. I wish you all the best on the blood work and hope that they find a reason for the IVF not working.
ReplyDeleteI love the kitty pic! 2 perfect valentines!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for all the comments :-) Ali, Zuri is an RSPCA adoption but we have been told she has either burmese or a russian blue in her breeding.
ReplyDeleteOur kitty sleeps the same way in my Hubby's arms! So glad you are feeling good. I hope you get good news with your blood work.
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